The Best Man

A couple of weeks ago I met up with my best friend to go hit some golf balls and relax in Phoenix Az. I actually felt like I was going to give him a good run for his money this time. My golf game had improved and after watching him on the driving range I felt I had the upper hand. On his first drive he didn't even make the ladies tee and the fun began. What followed was about 4 holes of my button pushing and all out competitiveness. By the 12th hole I had gone into a tailspin and swore I'd never play at the Wigwam again and my dear friend quietly added up the scorecard and just smiled at me. He didn't have to say a word.

Anyone who knows me realizes I'm a force of nature. My big mouth and obnoxious behavior have been a part of my persona straight out of the womb. I am loud, relentless, and love to entertain myself in anyway possible usually at the expense of some unsuspecting person. I'm not a bad person I'm just not good at conforming. I need excitement even in the dullest of situations. I joke that when I'm older there will be no stopping me. I'll yell at pigeons using derogatory slurs probably wielding a cucumber or feces along the way........ See what I mean.

Mike has been putting up with this for 35 years people. Yes I said it correctly 35 years!!

Legend has it that this all started back in kindergarten. I basically asked Michael if he wanted to play with my superhero collection (which I wish I had kept) at his house after school.Upon leaving that day my mom and I discovered a missing Green Goblin boot. My mom came to the conclusion that I had lost it and tough toodles on me but I went on the offensive and swore Michael was the culprit and that he should be brought to justice. After kind interrogation from my mother to his it was decided that It was just lost. I swore he took it and wasn't very kind. Mike insisted he didn't take it and I walked home crying like a wounded soldier. I felt betrayed, alone and angry. Who am I kidding I was five!!! I just wanted my Green Goblin boot back!!

Geography wasn't a friend to our friendship. In our 14 block town, (Mike'sFamily) were on the far end of the world. Block 14 to be precise. My family lived on block 3. Thinking back now that alone is a testament to our friendship. 11 blocks on a Big Wheel or Green Machine isn't easy. We did it everyday. Ohh yes the Green Goblin boot........

Crying all the way home with mom I always used to climb this one hill by the house at the end of my block and roll down it. I'm sure the homeowner was thrilled. Anyway, sobbing and heartbroken I glanced at the hill I always had conquered knowing under the circumstances I wasn't going to do so. Wait a minute!!! Are you kidding me?? My Green Goblin boot was there on the grass I swear. Now I'm not going to get weird but this boot was about 3 inches long and it was dark and I found it. Unbelievable!! Victory!! Not quite. My mother quickly turned me around and we headed right back to apologize. Mike and his mom were gracious and a friendship was forged.

I could write a novel with stories of lore that would make War & Peace look like well

War & Peace. I decided just to grab a few of the old pics to do the justice. It's funny I have a million of them with Mike and I side by side. It got so bad that by high school most of our friends always joked we were gay (not that there is anything wrong with that!!) The truth

is we were connected at the hip and even though we are 3000 miles away and I see him about once a year we are still connected.

It's hard not to well up a bit reflecting on how blessed I've been in the friend department. still even with the advent of Facebook I am still guilty of not checking in as I should. Michael is not even on Facebook. Yet he will always hold a special place in my heart until I'm no longer. He has been loyal.He has instilled in me values that I use hourly and most importantly provides me an anchor whenever my ship starts to drift. I joked with him the other day. We've always related life to skiing. I looked at him and said "well were off the lift now buddy another 40 or 50 years and this will be over". He looked at me and laughed. "Going downhill is the fun part! the question my friend is how are you going to ski it"

The truth is with people like Michael William Feltman it's been one hell of a run. To my compadre and dearest trailblazer. You are A Best Man indeed.

To golf or not to golf

In the next week or so e-mails will be sent out with the opportunity to swing the sticks in Santa Barbara. My soon to be father in law who happens to also be an avid golfer is organizing a few fun outings. In fact knowing his style he will probably be on the 16th hole an hour before the wedding. Be that as it may I wanted to just address a few possible concerns.

First off, many of my fellow golfers know what a pain in the rear end it is to lug your clubs anywhere let alone the other side of the country. I have offered to lend my clubs and some local friends for this reason but as any golfer will tell you using someone else's club to the serious golfer is not an option. As much as I agree with this philosophy I insist if you are golfing renting is the way to go. While I doubt you'll get Taylor Made Bubble drivers and Ping irons for rental. In Santa Barbara you won't be getting my Mizuno's either.

The other big concern (and it's a doozy) is the fact that many of you are coming as the loving couples you are to enjoy a wonderful weekend together. As a new member to exercising compassion to my partners feelings as well as my own I can understand how she might not be thrilled if I take a 6 hour sabbatical to the links without her. To this gentleman I have one simple solution. Spa.

Simply take a few steps in this direction and boys you will be home free. Keep In mind it can't be an hour massage and pedicure. You will need a day package in order to pull this off correctly. By giving her the option of spending the day pampering herself beachfront I can almost guarantee an enjoyable golf outing. Speaking of options... I also offer to let Julia come ride in the cart with me if she really would like to go. This is a gamble because it can be awkward to be the only guy in the group with your other half riding with you looking for bunny rabbits and needing to go to the bathroom every 4 holes but 99% she doesn't take you up on it and later you can say....... Hey, I asked if you wanted to go with me??

So, in summary. If you must bring your clubs fine. I am confident that through rental you will have a much easier enjoyable weekend. Secondly, Spa day. This ironically relieves the stress of your partner as well as you as you attack the links. With whatever you decide we can't wait to see you out there.

wheels are moving

So as we get closer things are starting to take shape. Venue check. Tux's check. Band check. It amazes me that we are just a season away. I've encouraged my friends and family to start booking rooms. I figure if they can let go of those tax returns the hit won't be to severe. Julia is beginning her shower tour in early April. I say tour because like an upcoming music artist she has 3 stops in various cities to be fawned over by her lady friends and receiving lingerie. I of course am in full support of this process. The sunny beautiful day before me has proven too stunning so I leave this post abruptly. Continued blessings everyone.

Ice & Nights

So.... I was told by a few friends that the year you get married for some reason becomes one of your most problematic. Sharon (wedding planner & mom) is snowed in Atlanta as I write this. Atlanta!! If that weren't enough I begin a few weeks of night shooting that will keep me exhausted and grumpy. It's peculiar how challenging it already has become.

Thankfully, Julia has been a rock. It's been a real thrill watching her take the reins on this thing. I have been thoroughly impressed. I think of that Tom Petty song "Here Comes My Girl" man when I got that little girl by my side I could tell the whole world.......shout it. She rocks.

Bring it on 2011 were ready............. together.

Love is in the Air in 2011

With the new year (and impending visit from my future mother in law) I have decided to be a little more assertive yet simple with my blog entries. It seems our nuptials are infectious not one but two of our favorite couples were engaged over the weekend. Soon to be Mr. and Mrs. Diautolo and Mr. and Mrs. Fieland will soon join us on the wedded highway. Perry proposed to Alyson in the windy city on New Years Eve and Eric decided to use a tree swing in Fiji to ask Heather to be his wife. We are thrilled.

As for us Julia and I have a crazy week ahead. Our wedding planner will land Wednesday and I'm sure it's going to get interesting. Happy New Year everyone. We'll keep you posted.

The Guest List (First Run)

First off. I have to say writing a blog isn't easy. I have to give major props to our dear friend Leah who is documenting her trip across America in vivid daily updates. I can sit here and make excuses including a recent battle with a sinus infection but the fact of the matter is I just haven't been on top of it lately.

Fortunately as far as the guest list goes we have been. I find it hilarious. Here we are trying to get (numbers) for a celebration that won't happen for another year and a half. Yes folks this is what weddings are all about. As I said above I find it hilarious but I have to say it has been a good exercise. If someone were to give you an opportunity to share a special moment with your dearest I promise you your Facebook friend cue wouldn't cut it. I mean I'm a pretty social guy but I'm not inviting every soul I cross paths with to my wedding. Sorry.

Julia is far more compassionate. If she had her way her nutritionist and our morning coffee guy would be at a table front and center. Let me make something clear!! I love my coffee guy (even more than some of my dear friends) he's the most dependable soul I've met (at least when it comes to coffee) but sorry he isn't making the cut.

Ahhh the cut!! It sounds harsh. Please. Jules and I didn't make the cut on a wedding last year that frankly we though we would. The couple responsible felt bad and kept asking me after if we were mad. I have to say we weren't. It wasn't a big deal. We see them socially and hang out from time to time but honestly it saved us a trip back east and we celebrated with them when they came back. Julia is concerned with hurting peoples feelings. My thought is if there really happy for us they shouldn't feel hurt period. I just got out of my dentists office where every staff member huddled around a computer to watch our engagement!! Even my dentist!! They were so moved and supportive but again they won't be at my wedding!! Sorry.

With all that said I'm happy with my initial list. Sharon (wedding planner and future mother in law) made it clear. It's a pie. We all get a piece!! Huh?? Who is we?? Turns out we is Julia, myself, and our parents. Hmmmmmmm.

Let me give you a visual of Sharon. She's a pistol. The woman says what's on her mind and adds sauce on top of that. She dominates a room even with me in it!! That's an accomplishment. Needless to say I felt her initial numbers (including her piece of the pie) would topple the 500 mark. Here we go I thought.

I purposely crunched my list. Thank god my parents being A) bible beating christians who have condemned practically everyone they have ever come across to an afterlife in hell and B) old enough to have partied with Jesus himself.......made their list almost comical. In fact I was able to pad my numbers. Awesome.

Julia's list like mine turned out well. The biggest problem is co-workers. You feel obligated to invite everyone because let's face it you have to see them again afterwards. This is why I make a point on my films not to get too attached to friends on set. Hello I work with 300 people at a time I mean really who has time in their lives for 5 close friends let alone 300. What can I say I'm older and wiser.

Happily Sharon seems confident we can come up with a good number. I have to say I feel pretty good about it. I have to say I started this process trying to be involved as little as possible but I'm finding out that just shouldn't be the case. Guys you have to be involved. Use your brain of course. I won't be discussing place settings and room decor but you can bet I'll have a say in the menu and the band!!

We'll see how this list changes throughout the whole process. We have a lot of out of town invites so I have a feeling our list is going to change dramatically. We understand. Times are tough and it's hard enough to find the time to have lunch with friends let alone have them board a plane to come out for a few days not knowing what they'll be facing in the coming year. I looked at my list and thought about how each name has touched me personally and had a part in my life, my journey that's brought me to this moment....that I hope to share with all of them.......... but not the coffee guy!! I think we both can live with that.

The Magic Trick!!

One week ago I had no clue what Gary had up his sleeve... literally. As far as I was concerned I was just heading to New Orleans for a wedding between Andy and Tiffany, friends of the family. Now I am hard to surprise; I'm nosy and always like to know whats going on. I should have known something was up because everyone and their mother was ignoring me for weeks. But I was oblivious to what was about to take place. So there we were at the W Hotel, getting ready to go out to dinner. Gary was acting weird about his sports jacket, and my dad asked me to show him how to use my mom's camera, these should have been clues.
We went up to Mark and Robin's hotel room to have a drink before dinner. Mark had made me a drink of vodka and okra, it was awful. Before I could voice my displeasure, over Mark's concoction Gary "as he always does" was entertaining the room with a magic trick. He asked my mom to grab her hotel key. She put it in her purse and zipped it up. Gary then had her reach under his hand and pull on a red ribbon. Now logic told me to ask "what the hell is Gary doing with a red ribbon?" Yet anyone who knows Gary that ribbons, dancing spoons, and even masks are par for the course. So there he was with my mom her pulling on the ribbon. Ta-da at the end of the ribbon was mom's hotel key. Gary held it up and had my mom unzip her bag. The hotel key wasn't there. Gary jumped up and said, "Come on that's pretty good." I have to say, I was impressed. I had never seen him do this trick before and even suggested he might of seen it on youtube. The room applauded and Gary said he would show us how he did it. This is what happened.

GO TO YOUTUBE- MAGIC TRICK ENGAGEMENT, SCROLL DOWN TO MAGIC TRICK!!